Holy Week thoughts

Holy Week ever since my mission in Mexico has been a special time. Easter for me was always one day, but after experiencing "Semana Santa" in Mexico it is not only the Easter Sunday that is important, but every day of that week leading up to it.

I think of the common examples I drew from the stories of the Bible. I think of Christ overthrowing the tables of the merchants in the temple. Of Christ rebuking the fig tree, giving sermons and answering the questions of the pharisees and scribes with power and authority, and preparing himself for his destined calling as Redeemer. I think of the Last Supper and the suffering in Gethsemane, Pilot and Barabas, and the crucifixion and the resurrection.

But this week I went deeper as I thought of where I would be in these stories. What role have I taken in my own life -

Would I have greeted him eagerly, waving my palm leaf in the air as he entered the city of Jerusalem? Would have followed him in the crowed listening to his sermons and being filled with the spirit? If so would I have simply believed him to be a great teacher and prophet, or would I have known, this is the son of God?

Would I have been leaning against a wall thinking the people to be nieve and brainwashed as some crazy man rode through the gate of my city, on a donkey? Would I have sat in the back listening and criticizing his teachings as radical? Would I have been one of those, who questioned his divinity and tried to catch him in his words?

Would I have stood nearby in awe as he overthrew the tables of the merchants in the temple? Found inspiration as he showed respect to my God? Or would I have thought him insane to ruin all these sellers things in the name of some unknown being? Would I have been a merchant who cared more for what I could get from the world than from the heavens?

In the last supper would I have been an apostle listening to the Savior trying to understand his teachings, or would I have been Judas, having betrayed all that I thought I knew? Would I have asked, when Jesus announced the betrayal, "Is it I?" Or would I have known in my own heart, "Yea Lord, it...it is I."

As he prayed and suffered the sins of the world, would I have fallen asleep, or stood closely nearby in tears as my hero went through this most excruciating experience?

Could I have mustered the courage to run to his side, and place my hand upon his back and trembling, utter the words,"thank you" ?

Would I have been like Peter, confident in my love and testimony of the Son of Man, but when the time came to defend him, my fears would swallow me up in desperate declarations of denial? When brought before me to be judged would I tare my clothes in anger at his prophesies and doctrines and smite him on his cheek? If I had the say in protecting the life of a man I knew to be innocent, would I stay true to the law, or would I fear more the voices of others and cower behind the statements of my own innocence? Would I have delivered him up and been the first to say, "Crucify him"?

Would I have been the man to help carry his cross? The soldier to scourge him? Or perhaps the soldier that winced at his pain? Made him a crown of thorns? Been the one to nail him to his cross?

Upon seeing him hang on the cross would I have thought, "how is it that he could save others but not himself?"
Would I have been on the cross next to him, and with the strength I had left asked him, "Lord remember me when though art with the father."?

That Easter Morning after Mary brought the news that his body was gone, would I have ran, ran to see?

Would I have recognized him on the road to Emmaus?

Upon hearing from the others who had seen him, Would I have believed? 
Would I have believed before I saw him?

Would he have asked me, "Lovest thou me more than these?"
And could I have confidently said, "Yea Lord, Thou knowest that I love thee."

- I believe I have played the role of just about all of these as I have grown. I can change. My testimony can grow stronger. I can be as the apostles after the Savior ascended into heaven. I can be filled with the spirit and be courageous and do great, great things. I can do more than believe, I can know that Jesus is the Christ. I can know He lives.