Problem, problem

At a park on a bench in the afternoon sun, reading an inspirational book about leadership. I am soaking in the rich and much wanted warmth from the captain of our solar system. I am finding peace in the soft conversation and laughter from the group of Romas playing cards nearby. I smile at the little boy playing with a strangers bicycle. I am planning how I can become a better leader in my life as I draw from the inspiring content of my book, planning the legacy I wish to leave. It is an extremely blissful and peaceful afternoon.

I notice a shadow that blocks the sun from me. I look up to see a man with a long and gray beard speaking to me in Albanian. I understand only that he is asking me what religion I am from. I tell him I am Mormon, but clearly he doesn't know what that is. 

"Anglisht?" he asks.

"Po," I respond.

"Where you from?"

"Amerika."

"I am sorry. I have problem.."

He proceeds to explain to me, in his extremely broken English, that he has gone to many Churches but they have all turned him away. He is on dialysis, he shows me his bag of urine. He slowly sits down next to me and explains he needs 350 Lek for a ticket to get home. The doctors turned him away.

"Problem, problem"

I reach in every pocket, hoping that miraculously money would appear. 

It doesn't. I left it home because I didn't plan to be purchasing anything as it was Sunday.

"Problem, ...problem"

I sit back down, and swallow slowly, anticipating my own response to his need. I then join the group of those who had previously rejected him.

"I am sorry, I have no money."

"Problem, problem"

He closes his eyes, tears start to form as he weeps quietly, and slowly gets up.

"Problem... problem, no problem. Thank you."

As he walks away I see myself. I shrink to the size of the coins I wish I carried in my pocket. I groan inside wishing I would have chosen to bring my wallet. My soul reaches out to him, but I can't reach as he is now a haunting memory. 

"Next time I will be ready." I tell myself.

There is the fear of never having that next time to help someone in need.

"If ye have, give to those in need. If ye have not, let it be in thy heart that ye would have given if ye would have had that which to give."